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Learning to live with absence

For over a year, I thought I was learning to live alone. My wife, Fran, had died after 48 years of marriage and I was, for the first time in all those years, alone. I ate on the coffee table in the living room while watching the news or Netflix. I moved my office from downstairs into her office on the main floor. I converted our guest bedroom, the room that housed the hospital bed she died in, into a meditation chapel. I raised the blinds to the level she liked even though she wasn’t here. I did the cooking, laundry and ironing. I inherited the family bookkeeping, but not the meticulous notebook she maintained for all those 48 years. I started a jigsaw puzzle — which was her thing, never really mine. I slept alone.

I was learning to live alone. 

But something didn’t feel right. So I talked with people who have lived alone longer than me, and they were helpful. My cousin, who lost his wife five years ago, said his dog added a lot to his life. But we’d never had pets. Priest friends offered practical advice about cooking and daily routines, but they’d never had a wife.

I took other steps. I gratefully became more embedded in our son’s family, and that deeper involvement remains an enriching experience. But they are one and two generations removed from my life history, and I still come home to an empty house. My friends are wonderful and I enjoy being with them; but in the past, those times were spent as couples. My meditation room opens the door to the beyond within me, but has not yet taken me outside those four serene walls. 

Living alone is a difficult life lesson.

Then the little voice in my head, or the Spirit in my soul (in any case, I call her Whisper), told me to change my thinking. I am not learning to live alone; I am learning to live with absence. There is a difference. 

Living with absence implies a previous presence; living alone connotes being by myself. There is presence hiding within absence. More precisely, I am learning to live with an absence that incorporates a presence. 

My first reaction was that it was a distinction without much of a difference. In terms of practical living, it makes no difference if you are living alone or if you are living with absence. But Whisper, who is sometimes more annoying than consoling, insisted there was a significant difference and it was in my best interest to figure it out and get on with my life. 

She is seldom wrong and always leaves it up to me to do the hard work. And what she says to me often fits for other people also, even if the specific circumstances vary. After all, we all experience loss and grief.

I followed her lead and dove into absence. I found more levels of absence than I thought, just like there are many kinds of presence. 

We all know that there are varying degrees of intensity in presence. Sometimes we are in the same room with a loved one, and hardly know they are there. Sometimes we feel very close to that same loved one when they are miles away. Sometimes we are in a crowded room and feel closer, more present to some people than to others. Sometimes we are only slightly aware that others are there. Sometimes we are fully connected to someone on the phone or at the end of an email or text and are barely conscious of someone else 3 feet away from us. We all experience degrees of presence.

That same variation also applies to absence. But we are not as aware of the diversity within absence. Absence hits us more generically, especially when it is more intense. 

Fran’s absence was always heavy. Little things, like hanging my shirts on her side of the closet, and big things, like not snuggling together in bed at night, are all triggers to feelings of grief, loss, regret and sadness. But the intensity of absence does not always match the severity of the particular loss. I need to discriminate between the intensity of different kinds of absence, like I distinguish between the different kinds of presence. 

I resorted to a system Fran and I created and used for decades when we made some of our decisions together. It was simple but effective: We ranked our feelings about an issue. Was it a one (very important), two (somewhat important) or three (only a slight preference)? As we compared our numbers, we solved many insignificant issues — and a few major ones — and avoided potential conflicts and stress. 

When I applied this system to the absence I felt with her death, my grieving became easier because I could separate the heavy stuff from the light stuff, and I knew where to focus my emotional and spiritual energy. One absence at a time, until her presence balances her absence. Naming my loss as « absence » rather than « being alone » makes it easier to cope with this new, more diversified interpretation of absence. 

I am doing better now. Whisper agrees.

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Vie de l'église

LGBTQ Catholics subject of emotional debate at synod, participants say

The second week of Pope Francis’ closely watched summit on the future of the Catholic Church included emotional debates among bishops and lay delegates over whether the church’s ministries could be expanded to include LGBTQ persons.

In interviews with multiple delegates from three different continents, NCR has confirmed that during the Synod of Bishop’s Oct. 9-12 discussions on the theme of « communion, » tensions began to emerge over how the church might extend its welcome to LGBTQ Catholics and whether use of the acronym « LGBTQ » was even appropriate. 

For at least five years, Vatican documents have regularly used « LGBT » as a common acronym to refer to the gay community. Soon after his election in 2013, Francis became the first pontiff to regularly use the word « gay » to describe gay persons, rather than talk of people who experience « same-sex attraction, » the term used by the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

According to the interviews, given under the condition of anonymity due to the synod’s rules on confidentiality of the assembly’s discussions, speeches about LGBTQ Catholics were given by delegates from a range of areas, including Eastern Europe, Africa and Australia. To varying degrees, the remarks expressed skepticism toward efforts to better integrate LGBTQ Catholics into the church’s ministries.

Those interventions were then reportedly countered by several personal testimonials calling on the church to urgently reexamine its approach to LGBTQ persons, which were reportedly met by open applause from synod delegates.

During an Oct. 11 press briefing, the prefect of the Vatican’s Dicastery for Communications, Paolo Ruffini, acknowledged some of these tensions, but said, « All agreed homophobia must be rejected. »

While the synod sessions are generally being held in private, the Vatican is offering a livestream at the beginning of each phase of discussions.

The synod moved on to the next phase of its discussions on Oct. 13, with delegates now focusing on the theme of « mission. » The role of women in ministry, including the possibility of the ordination of women to the diaconate, is expected to be part of those discussions.

Opening the new phase, Luxembourg Cardinal Jean-Claude Hollerich, one of the principal coordinators of the 2023 synod, said: « I have never read anywhere that the baptism of women would be inferior to the baptism of men. »

« How can we ensure that women feel they are an integral part of this missionary church? » Hollerich asked.

« All the baptized are called and have the right to participate in the mission of the church; all have an irreplaceable contribution to make, » said the Jesuit cardinal.

‘Do we, the men, perceive the diversity and the richness of the charisms the Holy Spirit has given to women?’

—Cardinal Jean-Claude Hollerich

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The cardinal directed the majority of his remarks that morning to men, acknowledging that bishops and priests face a particular challenge and « partiality » when considering how the church’s ministries and structures might be expanded to better include women.

« Are we ready to accept that all parts of the body are important? » he asked. « Do we, the men, perceive the diversity and the richness of the charisms the Holy Spirit has given to women? Or the way that how we act often depends on our past education, our family upbringing and experience, or the prejudices and stereotypes of our culture? »

« Do we feel enriched or threatened when we share our common mission and when women are co-responsible in the mission of the church, on the basis of the grace of our common baptism? » he continued.

The cardinal went on to speak directly to his fellow bishops, warning that at times, members of the episcopacy risk becoming a self-referential echo chamber.

« We must be well aware of the degree and intensity of our involvement. And when we are so involved in a particular question or reality, we need even more the courage to take a step back to authentically listen to others, make room within ourselves for their word and ask what the Spirit is suggesting to us through them, » he said.

Hollerich’s remarks came after a week of small group discussions, followed by free-ranging discussion among the more than 450 synod members and theological experts.

Also speaking during the public session on Oct. 13 were Benedictine Sr. Maria Ignazia Angelini and Argentine theologian Fr. Carlos Galli.

In a biblical reflection on the theme of mission, Angelini spoke of women being the first at Christ’s empty tomb after the resurrection, describing it as a « beginning … without men. »

« Women are dynamic elements of mission, like a presence that in critical, disruptive, unsettling passages senses the movement of life, weaves new, improbable relationships, patiently brings and dissolves conflicts, » said Angelini. « It is not a question of rights but of gifts received. »

Galli, who previously served as a member of the Vatican’s International Theological Commission, said that « the baptized, both men and women, are called to share gifts and tasks in each local church. »

Discussion on the current theme of « mission » will take place until Oct. 18.

During the confidential small group conversations, synod delegates are now expected to consider the following questions:

  • How can we walk together toward a shared awareness of the meaning and content of mission?
  • What should be done so a synodal church is also an « all ministerial » missionary church?
  • How can the church of our time better fulfill its mission through greater recognition and promotion of the baptismal dignity of women?
  • How can we properly value ordained ministry in its relationship with baptismal ministries in a missionary perspective?
  • How can we renew and promote the bishop’s ministry from a missionary synodal perspective?

[NCR news editor Joshua J. McElwee contributed to this report.]

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‘War traumatizes everybody’ and ‘deep-seated peace’ needed, says Jesuit priest working in Jerusalem

A Jesuit priest who directs an ecumenical institute in Jerusalem told OSV News he feels « a deep sense of compassion for what Israelis and Palestinians » are experiencing amid a war that has so far killed at least 2,300.

Fr. John Paul, rector of the Tantur Ecumenical Institute spoke with OSV News Oct. 11, four days after Hamas militants from the Gaza Strip stormed into approximately 22 locations in Israel, gunning down civilians and taking some 100-150 hostages, including infants, the elderly and people with disabilities.

The coordinated attack took place on a Sabbath that marked the final day of the Jewish holiday of Sukkot, which celebrates the gathering of the harvest and the divine protection of the ancient Israelites as they escaped from slavery in Egypt.

Israel declared war on Hamas Oct. 8, placing Gaza under siege and pounding the region with airstrikes. Hamas has continued to launch strikes against Israel. As of late Oct. 11, 1,200 people in Israel and more than 1,100 people in Gaza have been killed.

At Tantur — part of the University of Notre Dame and located on a 40-acre hilltop campus between Bethlehem and Jerusalem — about 25-30 students and staff spent more than seven hours sheltering when the attacks began, said Paul.

« The sirens went off about 8:10 a.m. And of course, when the sirens go off, everyone is expected to go into a shelter, » he said. « We basically stayed in the shelter until 3:30 or so in the afternoon, because about every half hour to 40 minutes, the sirens would go off again. »

He said that « one missile landed about a mile and a half to the west of Tantur, between a Palestinian city and a Jewish settlement. »

As Israel’s Iron Dome air defense system countered Hamas’ strikes, « throughout the day, we could hear these overhead explosions where the rockets were being destroyed in midair, » said Paul.

For the institute’s students and continuing education participants, the time spent sheltering was « a very, very new experience, » said Paul — but for Tantur’s largely Israeli and Palestinian staff, « it was a realization that this was not just a repeat of the Gaza conflict two years ago, but something very different, » he said.

The University of Notre Dame evacuated its students Oct. 10, relocating them to the university’s London Global Gateway campus, he said.

« The university was quite concerned about their safety and well-being, not knowing how long this conflict is going to go on and how intense it’s going to get, » said Paul.

Tantur’s continuing education students, most of whom are clergy and religious as well as some laypeople, « were much more thrown » by the attacks, he said.

Four who were days away from completing their six-week program « left … to return to their home countries, » said Paul. « I think a couple of those were really quite shaken and really felt like they needed to leave. »

One was summoned back to Nigeria at the insistence of her religious community, he said, adding that the woman’s mother also had fallen ill.

But many of the staff who were able to return home — either to Bethlehem or the nearby towns of Beit Jala and Beit Sahour, all in Palestinian territory — « were unable to return [to Tantur] because the borders are closed, » said Paul.

A few staff have remained at the institute, he said.

And « everyone here, both Israeli and Palestinian, is very traumatized by all of this, » said Paul. « There’s a great deal of stress. There’s a great deal of tension. There’s a lot of insecurity because of not knowing what’s actually going to happen from here on out. »

In listening to his staff, « my heart just breaks for them, » said Paul.

The institute’s Palestinian workers suffer from « a very high anxiety level, because many of them lived through the first and second intifadas, » he said, referring to two Palestinian uprisings that took place 1987-1993 and 2000-2004, respectively.

Israeli staff have « lived now with the realization, ‘We too are under threat. We too live under a great deal of fear. We’re not as safe and secure as we thought we were,' » said Paul. « So really both sides are traumatized by all of this. »

« Violence only perpetuates more violence, » he said. « War traumatizes everybody. And war only deepens fear. It deepens suspicions. It deepens hatred. »

Paul said he looks for « a deep-seated peace, » one that is not simply a cessation of hostilities but that « really gets to the heart, to the deeper issues that have not been dealt with over the years. »

That task is a mission for the global community itself, he added.

« The solution of those deeper issues and problems is not just between the Israelis and the Palestinians. It’s not just between the U.S. and Israel and the various Arab nations around here, » he said. « The whole world has to step in to assist in bringing about a faith that’s rooted in justice that really allows everyone in this Middle East to be feeling much more at peace and secure.”

Tantur — initiated by Pope St. Paul VI, and committed to fostering both ecumenical and interfaith encounter — can serve as a « lighthouse of hope » that illuminates the way to « build bridges of greater understanding and communication, » said Paul.

« This place is in an area filled with religious spiritualities, » he said. « I wake up every day hearing the Muslim call to prayer, five times a day. I hear and see around me the Shabbat hymns that call people to the beginning or end of Shabbat. I see people dressed in a wide variety of traditional Jewish clothing. I hear church bells that ring here all the time.

« But what do I envision [peace] looking like? People going back into their scriptures and really studying and listening carefully, » he said. « What does it mean to live what the Gospel, the Quran, the Hebrew Scriptures are calling us to? How do we care for the orphans, the widows, the strangers? How do we care for and really live with the sense that we are all created in the image and the likeness of God?

« To put it in Jesus’ words, ‘You will love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul, and your neighbor as yourself, » said Paul. « I think all three of these major faith traditions really seek that this is what we’re called to live. »

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Vie de l'église

Conservative cardinals have five questions or ‘dubia.’ I have six.

Catholic conservatives love to wrap themselves in the « traditional » teachings of the church, but in actuality their idea of tradition is what they learned as children in grammar school. Any change is considered heresy.

These so-called traditionalists are creatures of the Counter-Reformation, still living in a church traumatized by the dissolution of a single Western church in the 16th century, which made it of first importance to distinguish how Catholics are different from Protestants and where disagreements are suppressed.

This Counter-Reformation attitude dominated the church up to the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965), which opened the church to ecumenism and a richer view of tradition. But Pope Francis, the first truly post-Counter-Reformation pope since Vatican II’s instigator, Pope John XXIII, has become the target of traditionalist ire.

This is in part because Francis is not afraid of open discussion; he is pastoral rather than dogmatic in his approach to people; he focuses on areas of agreement rather than disagreements. He will not let today’s Pharisees — conservative theologians and canon lawyers — get in the way of pastoral concern for real people.

All of this was on display when five cardinals, all retired, addressed five questions or « dubia » to Francis about the Synod on Synodality going on this month in Rome. The five, who included U.S. Cardinal Raymond Burke, addressed issues such as the blessing of same-sex couples, sacramental absolution, women’s ordination and the authority of the synod.

Earlier, some of the cardinals, plus some bishops, had raised similar questions, and Francis had answered in private correspondence. The questioners, reflecting their Counter-Reformation mindset, wanted « yes » or « no » answers to their questions, in the custom of dubia. Instead, Francis responded at length because the issues are complex. Unsatisfied, the five cardinals released a reworded version of their questions.

But as I reviewed the cardinals’ dubia, I began to imagine other questions that could address other changes in Catholic teaching throughout the history of the church. I decided to have some fun and draw up my own dubia. Let’s pretend that I found them in the Vatican archives.

My six dubia focus on our modern habit of calling priests « father, » on the observance of the Jewish law by gentile Christians, the use of statues in churches, the just-war theory, charging interest on loans and closing Limbo.

First dubia: Father 

Is not calling priests « Father » contrary to the direct command of Christ?

Jesus could not have been clearer: « Call no one on earth your father; you have but one Father in heaven » (Matthew 23). Calling priests « Father » is a violation of the explicit command of Jesus. 

Second dubia: Observance of the Jewish law

Should not the gentile Christians follow all the Jewish traditions and laws?

Jesus and the Apostles were observant Jews. Paul was a heretic who misled the church.

Jesus clearly taught: 

Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

We should not give in to human weakness. Christians are supposed to follow the law. Those who say disagree are least in the kingdom of heaven.

Third dubia: Idols in churches

Is it not against the teachings of Scripture to have idols or statues in churches?

Jesus and the Apostles were good Jews and would be scandalized if they walked into a Baroque church today. This is an example of Christians abandoning their tradition to adapt to European culture. This practice shows how inculturation can undermine the true faith.

Scripture is clear on the evil of idols. Exodus 20: « You shall not make for yourself an idol or a likeness of anything in the heavens above or on the earth below or in the waters beneath the earth. » The First Letter of John reads: « Children, be on your guard against idols. » Paul, in his Letter to the Corinthians, is succinct: « my beloved, avoid idolatry. »

Statues in churches must be destroyed.

Fourth dubia: Just war

Is not the just war theory against the teaching and practice of Jesus?

Jesus was all-powerful but nonviolent. He was clearly a pacifist. He told his followers not to fight back but to turn the other cheek. Augustine, a so-called saint, led the people into error by inventing the just-war theory. This was clearly an attempt to curry favor with the political elites of his time. Military service is a sin.

Fifth dubia: Interest on loans

Is not the charging of interest on loans against the Scriptures?

Scripture is clear: God-fearing people do not charge interest on loans. The Book of Exodus’ 22nd chapter says, « If you lend money to my people, the poor among you, you must not be like a money lender; you must not demand interest from them. »

Legitimizing the charging of interest is another example of weakening the true faith to adapt to European culture. This is giving in to capitalism and bankers. Jesus and the early church would never permit the charging of interest. In the Acts of the Apostles, « The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common. » Communism is the only way.

It is a sin to work for a bank or have a bank account that earns interest.

Sixth dubia: Limbo

Was not the traditional teaching of the church violated by the abandoning of Limbo by the Apostate Benedict (the last true pope was Pius IX)?

The Baltimore Catechism is clear: « Persons, such as infants, who have not committed actual sin and who, through no fault of theirs, die without baptism, cannot enter heaven; but it is the common belief they will go to some place similar to Limbo, where they will be free from suffering, though deprived of the happiness of heaven. »

The Apostate Benedict, who pretended to be a conservative, showed his true colors by abandoning Limbo. He clearly placed « pastoral sensitivity » over doctrinal rigor. Shame on him. Put the children back in Limbo.

Although my dubia are presented with tongue in cheek, they and others could have been written at various times in the history of the church when it was experiencing dissension and change. In each case, the current practice of the church appears to be in direct contravention of Scripture or the tradition of the church.

Hundreds if not thousands of books have been written on each of these topics defending a change in church teaching. Anyone who thinks a simple « yes » or « no » would suffice as an answer to these dubia or the ones posed by the cardinals needs a better understanding of history and the complexity of Catholic theology.

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Synod focus on welcoming is what Jesus would do, synod member says

Finding better ways to live « like Jesus did » — reaching out, welcoming, healing and including others — was the focus of Sr. Liliana Franco Echeverri’s small group discussions Oct. 9-10 at the assembly of the Synod of Bishops, she said.

Franco, a member of the Company of Mary and president of the Confederation of Latin American and Caribbean Religious, or CLAR, and Cardinal Joseph Tobin of Newark, New Jersey, briefed reporters Oct. 10 about the synod’s work on various aspects of the theme « communion. »

Franco’s group discussed how « the service of charity and commitment to justice and care for our common home nourish communion, » while Tobin’s group focused on welcoming and accompanying people who feel excluded from the church. Under the theme of communion with God and with one another, in the church and in the world, other groups looked at ecumenism, at valuing the cultural, linguistic and racial diversity of the church and at interreligious dialogue.

« There truly is a desire to be able to live like Jesus did, a Jesus who humanizes, who gives dignity, who includes, a Jesus who opens the doors for ‘the other,’  » Franco said. Living like Jesus calls the church to be « prophetic » in denouncing injustice and exploitation that attacks human dignity and excludes from society people such as the poor, migrants and victims of human trafficking, she said.

Given the synod’s rule that conversations and speeches are confidential, Tobin was less specific about the discussion in his small group.

As a superior general and then as a bishop, the cardinal said he had attended six previous synods, and this is « the most diverse synod I’ve ever participated in. » At the same time, he said, many of the questions, concerns and hopes expressed by Catholics in different countries and regions of the world are remarkably similar.

« We’re talking about things we heard in our own dioceses, » he said. « That’s what the church does; it listens. »

« We believe in a God who became flesh and blood, like the rest of us, who didn’t stay in some celestial isolation, » he said. « So, the church always has to be concerned with flesh and blood issues. »

The questions Tobin’s group was asked to reflect on included welcoming the excluded while proclaiming « the fullness of the Gospel truth. »

The question of outreach to those who feel « they are not at home in the Catholic Church, » including members of the LGBTQ community, was raised repeatedly in the Archdiocese of Newark’s listening sessions and was present in so many reports to the synod that it was included in the assembly’s working document, he said.

The archdiocese, he said, has « arguably the most beautiful cathedral in North America and it’s five feet longer than St. Patrick’s in New York, » but — quoting one of his auxiliary bishops — « it’s most beautiful when the doors are open. »

« And so, I think the real beauty of our Catholic Church is clear when the doors are open and welcoming, » he said. « And it is my hope that the synod will help us to do that in an even more significant way. »

Franco said members of the assembly have their « feet on the ground, » looking honestly at the reality of « a world in which there is xenophobia, exclusive nationalism, leaders who are committed to building borders. »

« And in a world like this, our world, the option of the church is the option for fraternity, it is the option for synodality, it is the commitment to understanding that we are all brothers and sisters, » she said. « And in a world and in a church where we see each other as brothers and sisters, there is room for everyone. »

When asked, both Tobin and Franco insisted synod members were free to speak their minds and that the concerns listed in the synod working document were those that came from listening sessions at the parish, diocesan, national and continental levels.

The reports of each small group for each section of the synod assembly will be handed in to a committee charged with writing a synthesis; synod members will have an opportunity to amend it and to vote on whether it reflects their discussions.

In the end, which is after the second assembly in October 2024, Tobin noted, Pope Francis will determine what and how to enact the synod’s conclusions.

« Before I left the diocese, somebody asked me a question about discernment, » the cardinal said. « And I said, well, you can decline the verb ‘to discern’ this way in the context of the synod: I discern. You discern. He decides. »

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US bishops pray for peace following Hamas’ attack on Israel

Several U.S. bishops called for prayers for peace following Hamas’ Oct. 7 attack on Israel.

Bishop David J. Malloy of Rockford, chairman of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Committee on International Justice and Peace, called for prayers for peace in the Holy Land and decried the « continued tensions and violence that erupted into warfare between Gaza and Israel. »

« The world is once again shocked and horrified by the outbreak of ferocious violence in the Holy Land. Reports have surfaced indicating large numbers of wounded and dead, including many civilians, » Malloy said in an Oct. 8 statement.

On Oct. 7, Hamas militants launched a surprise attack in southern Israel with missiles and a ground invasion during which an estimated 700 Israeli soldiers and citizens were killed, while dozens others were taken hostage and brought to Gaza. Thousands of people in Palestinian territories were injured and an estimated 400 others dead from Israel’s retaliation, including airstrikes that began hours following the Hamas attack.

« As we pray urgently for peace, we recall especially all the families and individuals suffering from these events, » Malloy’s statement said, adding calls for respect for civilian populations and the release of hostages. « Almost 50 years to the day of the launch of the 1973 Arab–Israeli War, once again war is spilling out in the Holy Land. With it brings the mounting casualties and hostilities unfolding on all sides, and increased threats to the Status Quo of the Holy Places among Jews, Muslims, and Christians further dimming any hope for peace. »

Other bishops, including the Catholic bishop of Arlington, Virginia, joined the calls for peace for those affected by the violence.

« Our hearts are shocked and saddened by the death of hundreds of people, and thousands more who are wounded or dispersed already, » said Bishop Michael F. Burbidge in an Oct. 8 statement. « It is my hope and prayer that the international community will work together to help ensure a peaceful and just resolution for the good of all.

« At this time, we also pray that the victims and their families find strength and support, » he continued. « May we join with one voice in asking God to grant eternal rest to the deceased, console those who grieve, and guide political leaders to bring an end to the war without further violence. »

His message came hours after Israel formally declared war on Hamas, a Islamist militant group.

According to the World Jewish Congress, the United States is home to at least 5.7 million Jews, and its Jewish population is second only to Israel, which has more than 6.3 million Jews. With about 1.9 million Jews, New York City is home to the largest Jewish population in the U.S.

New York Cardinal Timothy M. Dolan, issued an Oct. 8 statement from Rome, where he is a delegate to the Synod on Synodality. Noting the contrasting peacefulness of Rome, he wrote, « From here in Rome, my heart goes out to the assaulted people of Israel, and to our Jewish community we cherish as friends and neighbors back home in New York, realizing with tears that their sabbath yesterday was anything but peaceful.

« A secure and safe home, surely intended by God for all His Children, wherever they may be. To have that home attacked is a sacrilege; to defend that home is righteous, » he wrote. « To the urgent appeals of Pope Francis this Sunday; to the pleas of my brother bishops back home in the United States; to the concerns and condolences of those brothers and sisters gathered here in Rome for the synod of bishops, I sure add my own. »

Following the public Angelus prayer Sunday, Pope Francis said he is following « with apprehension and sorrow, » the situation in Israel, « where violence has erupted even more ferociously, causing hundreds of deaths and injuries. »

« Please stop the attacks and the weapons, and understand that terrorism and war do not lead to any solution, but only to the death and suffering of so many innocent people, » he said. « War is always a defeat! Every war is a defeat! »

Detroit Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron posted on X, formerly Twitter, that he joined his prayers for a resolution to the conflict.

« It was with great sadness that I learned news of the violence in Israel. We have a number of citizens in southeast Michigan who have familial and cultural ties to Israel and Palestine; as Catholics, we stand in solidarity with them, praying for the safety of their loved ones, » Vigneron posted. « I encourage all people of good will to pray for a swift resolution to this conflict, and lasting peace for all. »

Malloy’s statement concluded with urgent prayers for peace and solidarity with those suffering from these events. « We call on the faithful, and all people of good will to not grow weary and to continue to pray for peace in the land Our Lord, the Prince of Peace, called home, » he said.

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Catholisisme

Recovering the Vineyard

(Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time-Year A; This homily was given on October 7 & 8, 2023 at Saint Augustine Church in Providence, Rhode Island; See Isaiah 5:1-7 and Matthew 21:33-43)


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Vie de l'église

New Iowa guidelines praised as a ‘milestone’ by LGBTQ Catholics and advocates

The newest U.S. Catholic document on gender identity and sexual orientation is being celebrated by LGBTQ Catholics, advocates and family members as a significant shift in how the church ministers to a community long on its margins.

Bishop Thomas Zinkula of the Diocese of Davenport, Iowa, released « Guidelines for Pastoral Accompaniment of Sexual and Gender Minorities » Oct. 4 and in his letter introducing the guidance says the first response to LGBTQ individuals should be « one of welcome, love, and respect. » 

Many of the more than 45 existing diocesan documents on sexual orientation and gender identity include policies designating bathroom use, attire and sports participation on the basis of a person’s « biological sex. » The Davenport guidelines instead are written around five principles. 

Other dioceses « have taken a one-size-fits-all approach that in most cases effectively deny the existence of trans people and exclude openly trans people from the life of the church, » Deacon Ray Dever, a retired permanent deacon with a transgender child, told NCR. « I think that any family with a trans child would find in guidelines such as Davenport’s a renewed hope that their child would someday feel welcomed in the church. »

Zinkula, recently appointed archbishop of Dubuque, Iowa, where he will be installed Oct. 18, said the guidelines were crafted in response to clergy, school personnel and parish staff expressing a desire to learn how to better minister to individuals and families in their parishes and schools « who are experiencing gender discordance or differences in sexual orientation. » 

The five principles expounded in the guidelines are: a respect for the dignity of every person, body and soul; a recognition that persons who experience gender discordance or differences in sexual orientation are real and do not choose it; a commitment to loving people first and listening for deeper understanding; a commitment to involving others in the discernment process, especially the individuals affected, their families and medical professionals; and a case-by-case approach with a willingness to « make reasonable and appropriate accommodations when possible. »

The gender committee — comprised of the superintendent of Catholic schools, coordinator of marriage and family life, vicar general, the director of Catholic Charities, and others — settled on a case-by-case approach because « blanket policies may prove ineffective and may risk doing greater harm, » says the document. « Building trust and dialogue are essential. »

Dever, who along with his wife shared his experience raising a trans child with the Davenport committee prior to the document’s drafting, said the guidelines were « highly significant. » 

They are « truly a milestone in the evolution of the church’s approach to the LGBTQ community, especially transgender people. » 

‘We have zero opportunity to work with or evangelize or help in any way families facing these questions if we have such a hard line that they say, « See you later, Catholic Church. » ‘
—Fr. Thom Hennen 

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The emphasis in many previous policies and guidelines has been on defending church teaching « and the ethics of things like whether someone can transition, while this document’s first concern is: Is a person’s human dignity deeply respected? » said Robert Shine, associate director of New Ways Ministry, a Maryland-based group providing advocacy and support for LGBTQ Catholics.

Shine spoke to NCR from Italy, where he’s following developments at a historic monthlong Vatican summit — known officially as the Synod of Bishops’ synod on synodality — that’s convened delegates from around world to discuss numerous issues, including polemical ones like the role of women in the church and LGBTQ inclusion.  

David Palmieri is a Catholic school educator who has conducted extensive research on the policies and compiled them in a public folder. He is also founder of a grassroots network of Catholic secondary educators called Without Exception.

Last year Palmieri told NCR there’s a disconnect « between the legalism of many policies and the lived experiences of the human person. » 

« They help create a culture of fear, » he said.

The Davenport document, however, « is what guidance can look like when these matters are approached with a pastoral heart, » said Palmieri in an interview on Oct 6.

Fr. Thom Hennen, vicar general and pastor of the Davenport cathedral, was part of the gender committee Zinkula formed nearly three years ago.

« We’ve taken a slower approach to this, » Hennen said this summer. « We like to think we are taking a synodal approach, and we’ve learned a lot in the process — our own attitudes have changed. » 

The committee read and discussed theological and medical articles, attended educational sessions, and reviewed documents from other dioceses, the U.S. bishops and the Vatican. And committee members also spoke at length with LGBTQ individuals and their families.

Some bishops have claimed they’ve consulted with trans people, « but nothing about those consultations seem to show up in the documents, » Shine said. « In this case, it very much shows that not only was there listening, but transgender voices were heard, taken to heart. »

The document-crafting process also typically lacks transparency; in Davenport, the diocesan newspaper published several stories on the committee’s progress. 

Some reports said the committee has been criticized for not basing its work adequately on Catholic teaching. Davenport’s guidelines do not quote or footnote specific documents or church teachings like many others do. 

Pope Francis has described « gender ideology » as dangerous « because it blurs differences and the value of men and women.”

Yet on numerous occasions he has met with gay and transgender individuals and this summer told a young transgender person that « God loves us as we are.« 

The Davenport document shares phrasing used by the pope when he called for « pastoral prudence » and discernment when discussing an openness to Catholic blessings for same-sex couples.

Hennen said he anticipated there would be Catholics in the diocese who found significant fault with the Davenport guidelines. 

« We’ll need to be ready to get blowback from both sides, with each saying they can’t accept the document, » Hennen said.

But early feedback in the diocese is positive, according to Marianne Agnoli, coordinator of marriage and family life, while Catholic onlookers with disparate views laud it.

Abigail Favale is a writer and professor at the McGrath Institute for Church Life at the University of Notre Dame and author of The Genesis of Gender: A Christian Theory. She served as a consultant to the Archdiocese of Portland, Oregon, when it drafted its document, which has received much pushback.

Favale praised the Davenport document’s discernment-based approach.

« Policies can be comforting precisely because they foreclose the often difficult work of discernment, » said Favale. « But an approach of pastoral accompaniment, especially in the complex and sensitive area of gender and sexuality, needs to be responsive to the particular situation and the people involved. » 

Maxwell Kuzma, a transgender Catholic from Ohio who has criticized Favale’s writings on gender identity, said the Davenport guidelines were « amazing to see coming from a Catholic bishop in 2023. » 

« So often in Catholic spaces there’s an asterisk after the words ‘all are welcome.’ « 

In the Diocese of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, for example, Bishop Donald DeGroodad explicitly states its policy, which bars transgender Catholics from serving at Mass, is “intentionally exclusionary, » adding that such exclusion applies to all who are in “a state of grave sin or public scandal. » 

‘This document’s first concern is: Is a person’s human dignity deeply respected?’
—Robert Shine

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Ish Ruiz, a theologian and ethicist who has worked with LGBTQ youths, said the Davenport document makes him feel hopeful because it reflects « a true spirit of synodality, which, at its heart, believes the Holy Spirit is revealed through our daily lives. »

And unlike guidelines that indicate a wariness toward some medical professionals, like those in neighboring Diocese of Des Moines, Davenport’s encourages a broad consultation with experts. 

The Davenport document « represents a genuine quest to find God’s truth wherever it can be found, including both church doctrine and the wisdom of our medical and psychological experts, » said Ruiz.

Hennen said the guidelines « try to bring these two things that seem contradictory together — the rich teaching on Christian anthropology that we can’t toss out and a boots-on-the-ground pastoral approach. » 

Zinkula « wants us to be able to look parents in the eye and walk them through this, » the priest said. « We have zero opportunity to work with or evangelize or help in any way families facing these questions if we have such a hard line that they say, ‘See you later, Catholic Church.’ « 

Under the first principle — « dignity of the human person » — the guidelines say that « integral to our respect for human dignity are the Church’s beliefs about the nature of the human person, sexual difference, and gender. »

« These are rooted not only in what the body reveals about itself, but also in history, culture, and the teachings of our Catholic tradition, » it reads. « At the heart of our Christian anthropology is the concept that the human person is both body and soul. »

Elaborating on the third principle — « love first and listen for understanding » — the document states that « we tend to love those who are most like us and to question, fear, and even exclude those who are more dissimilar. Once we are aware of this and embrace the summons of the Gospel to love all people as ourselves, we do not need to be ruled by our tendency to define people in terms of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ « 

The document ends with a list of recommended questions, intended to help parish and school communities develop their responses to different situations. 

Among the queries: « What are your biases or blind spots? » « What accommodations could be made, if appropriate? »

In November, diocesan clergy, Catholic school principals and parish ministry leaders will gather to discuss the document and how best to accompany LGBTQ individuals going forward. The event will feature two presenters, including Palmieri.

Dever said he hopes the Davenport document will influence how other guidelines are crafted. 

« Most dioceses in the U.S. have not yet promulgated documents on gender identity, but I expect that many are considering doing so, » he said. « The stated goal of the Davenport document is ‘to find a balance in addressing the real pastoral needs of sexual and gender minorities, while remaining true to the teachings of our Catholic faith.’ « 

« Those who share that goal, » said Dever, « will find in the Davenport document an excellent template to follow. » 

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Vie de l'église

Twenty-Seventh Sunday in Ordinary Time: Prayer that transforms the world

Who could fail to empathize with Isaiah’s heartbroken planter? The poor man loved his land with all he had, molding it with his muscles, caressing it with his hands — never a mention of a servant to do the hard work. Once all was ready, he built a tower from which to gaze on its growth and protect it. 

Alas, his hopes were dashed; the produce didn’t serve even for vinegar. What was there to do other than let it go wild and let the goats have their way with it?

Jesus turned Isaiah’s song of lament into a more personal parable. He transformed the relationship between proprietor and land into one between an owner and tenants. As we listen to his tale, we hear echoes of the preface to the Fourth Eucharistic Prayer: « Again and again you offered a covenant … and taught us to hope for salvation. »

Jesus’ parable recounts the underside of the story, turning it into a critique of his audience of closed-minded chief priests and elders. Underlining how the parable put the religious leaders on trial, Matthew described the treatment of the son in precise parallel to what the leaders eventually would do to Jesus: « They seized him, threw him out of [Jerusalem] and killed him. »

Responding to Jesus’ question about what the owner should do, the leaders pronounced sentence on themselves. Applying a theory of retribution, they said, « He will put those wretched men to a wretched death. » In other words, they should reap the same evil they sowed.

Jesus didn’t follow their avenging lead. Instead of a violent vengeance for their evil, he simply says, « The kingdom of God will be taken away from you. » 

That sentence subtly reveals that by both their treatment of prophets and their way of dealing with sinners they disqualify themselves for the kingdom that Jesus would make present among them. 

Jesus’ words continue to echo the preface we hear so often. Phrases like « You did not abandon us to the power of death » and « He destroyed death and restored life » reveal what Jesus teaches about God’s approach to fickle humanity. 

When Isaiah’s friend’s vineyard didn’t produce, the owner took away its protection and let it go wild. In contrast, Jesus gave people the freedom to judge for themselves: Did they want to live by the forgiving, loving norms of God’s reign or did they prefer a kingdom of their own making? God leaves the power in our hands.

Jesus’ question about what will happen to those who reject God’s messengers applies to everyone who reads the Gospel. It asks us, « What kind of realm do we hope to create among ourselves? » 

Over and again, when we decide how to reward or condemn others, we hear Jesus say, « Leave the judgment to me. »

We heard this in Matthew 13, when Jesus warned against weeding the field. As we recalled last week, that was the angel’s message to Joseph: « Do not be afraid » (Matthew 1:18-25). It is also the underlying theme of Jesus’ command to forgive. 

In the Letter to the Philippians, Paul offers another angle on this teaching. His message? « Have no anxiety. » 

Any sense that this is a Pollyanna approach gets kiboshed when we remember that Paul was writing from prison. He found his situation of confinement and danger of death a good place from which to teach about prayer. 

« Yes, » he says, « make your requests known to God, ask and do it with thanksgiving! »

He’s not saying that the God « who makes all things work for good » (Romans 8:28) is unaware, but rather that asking for God’s help will keep praying people attentive to how God would lead them forth. Thanksgiving keeps us conscious of how many ways God has been present to us. Because it is based on remembering God’s good care, requesting help with gratitude becomes the recipe for knowing « the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. »

Today’s readings invite us into at least two styles of prayer. The first, as Paul says, is to pray with the trust that produces peace, remembering that God urges us toward unimaginable good in every circumstance. 

The second might be more of a loving contemplation. Following Isaiah’s lead, we open ourselves to feel with the God of the vineyard, the owner who is laden with almost unbearable sadness at what has happened to what he had created with such care. 

The dynamic of both of these prayers is the same. They lead to love of God, to a life that Paul calls honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious, excellent, etc. Such prayer also leads us into the mustard-seed fruitfulness that transforms the world.

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Vie de l'église

Biden administration to expand US-Mexico border wall in Texas

The U.S. government is moving ahead with plans to extend a border wall in South Texas, an action long opposed by the U.S. Catholic bishops.

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security publicized a decision Oct. 5 to waive 26 federal laws — most of them involving environmental reviews — to allow the building of 20 more miles of the wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.

However, President Joe Biden has said he does not believe border walls work to prevent migrants from entering the United States illegally, and he has been consistently opposed to their construction, ordering a construction pause on his first day in his post in 2021.

Speaking with reporters Oct. 5, Biden said he had no choice but to allow the building to move forward. « The money was appropriated for the border wall, » he said. « I can’t stop that. »

The funds were appropriated in 2019 under the Trump administration. Biden was unsuccessful in getting lawmakers to redirect them, and the funding requires the money to be used for the wall, with construction to be completed this year.

The DHS announcement said the construction will be in Starr County, Texas, which the Border Patrol says is part of a sector in the Rio Grande Valley with « high illegal entry. » Government data for the current budget year recorded 245,000 illegal entries in the sector, which includes more than 20 Texas counties.

« There is presently an acute and immediate need to construct physical barriers and roads in the vicinity of the border of the United States in order to prevent unlawful entries into the United States in the project areas, » Alejandro Mayorkas, secretary of Homeland Security, stated in the DHS notice.

In a separate statement Oct. 5, Mayorkas clarified that « there is no new Administration policy with respect to border walls » and the suggestion that the Biden administration has changed its policy is inaccurate.

« From day one, this Administration has made clear that a border wall is not the answer. That remains our position and our position has never wavered. The language in the Federal Register notice is being taken out of context and it does not signify any change in policy whatsoever, » he said.

In February 2019, two leading U.S. bishops said they opposed President Donald Trump’s plan to redirect federal funds previously appropriated elsewhere to build a border wall.

« We are deeply concerned about the President’s action to fund the construction of a wall along the U.S./Mexico border, which circumvents the clear intent of Congress to limit funding of a wall. We oppose the use of these funds to further the construction of the wall, » Cardinal Daniel DiNardo of Galveston-Houston, who was then president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, and Bishop Joe Vásquez of Austin, Texas, then-chairman of the conference’s Committee on Migration, said in a joint statement. « The wall first and foremost is a symbol of division and animosity between two friendly countries. We remain steadfast and resolute in the vision articulated by Pope Francis that at this time we need to be building bridges and not walls. »

Other bishops joined their voices to that position, with a dozen signing a statement soon after to oppose a southern border wall. They called it « an ineffective use of resources » that would « destroy parts of the environment, disrupt the livelihoods of ranchers and farmers, weaken cooperation and commerce between border communities, and, at least in one instance, undermine the right to the freedom of worship. »

« The truth is, » the statement continued, « that the majority of persons coming to the U.S.-Mexico border are asylum-seekers, many of whom are women and children from Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador who are fleeing persecution and violence in their home countries. Along their journey to safety, they encounter many dangers. A wall would not keep them safe from those dangers. Rather, a wall would further subject them to harm by drug cartels, smugglers and human traffickers. »

They pointed to the effects of a border wall constructed in the 1990s in the San Diego area, which they said resulted in smugglers driving migrants to cross the border in remote areas such as the Arizona desert.

The decision to continue wall construction comes as Republicans in the House and Senate are seeking to defund nongovernmental organizations that provide services to migrants along the border.

On May 11, the House of Representatives passed the Secure the Border Act just before the expiration of the Title 42, a COVID-19-era health policy providing for the immediate expulsion of migrants to Mexico.

Passage of the Secure the Border Act in the Democrat-controlled Senate is uncertain. Two Republicans, Sens. Chuck Grassley of Iowa and Ted Cruz of Texas, have introduced a Senate version of the act. Like the House bill, it would require border wall construction to resume.

« President Biden’s refusal to enforce the law at our southern border has allowed drug trafficking, human smuggling and illicit cartel activity to poison the United States. Every state in the nation, including Iowa, is now a border state, » Grassley said in a statement.

Cruz said the bill would stop the border crisis « dead in its tracks by building the wall, ratcheting up asylum standards, increasing the number of Border Patrol agents, and implementing effective border security policies. »

Bishop Mark Seitz of El Paso, Texas, in a letter to Congress in May, said the bill would « fundamentally weaken our nation’s decades-long commitment to humanitarian protection. »

In a similar letter sent Sept. 28 to U.S. senators about the bill, Seitz reiterated that position, noting in both letters, « We have long opposed the construction of a wall spanning the entire U.S.-Mexico border, especially with the dangers it poses to human life and the environment. »

Seitz is chairman of the U.S. bishops’ Committee on Migration.

Catholic assistance to migrants along the U.S.-Mexico border includes the Kino Border Initiative’s shelter and legal assistance in Nogales, Mexico, and the Hope Border Institute, which operates in Juárez, Mexico, in collaboration with the El Paso Diocese to provide food and clothing.

Dylan Corbett, Hope Border Institute executive director, issued a quick response to both the wall expansion and the recent negotiations to increase deportation flights to Venezuela. « The social and political crisis in Venezuela is real and deep, » he said. « In the last decade, close to 8 million people have been forced to flee.

« The time and energy this administration is spending defending border walls and deploying our chief diplomats and policymakers to negotiate with Mexico and the Maduro Administration to keep people out is misguided and will again prove ineffective, » he continued.

He said the crisis « requires leading with political courage, creativity and compassion. »